The bitterest pill
Imagine if The Jam reformed. The band, that is, not the fruit-based conserve. Paul Weller and the other two playing all those tight-trousered songs of late-seventies mod anger. It'd be great.
And just imagine what sort of car they'd need to transport themselves from gig to gig. It'd need to be British, no question. It'd need to be big, too - you can't have the Modfather squeezed up next to a drum kit.
So what have we got? A long wheelbase Landy Defender? Too agricultural. A Bentley Arnage, perhaps? That'd do the trick.
Well, imagine no more. The Jam are reforming. It's true. And they've been given a car for their comeback tour. And that car is... a Kia Sedona.
Seriously. If you're thinking something doesn't quite add up here, you'd be right. Sadly it's only two-thirds of The Jam on the tour - bassist Bruce Foxton and drummer Rick Buckler.
Yes, Paul Weller's missing. Are we cynical enough to draw parallels between a band with no front man and a competent Korean car with no charisma?
Of course not. It's nearly the Bank Holiday weekend. Happy holidays.